why you shouldn't clean out your van

(Interior of my van in it's previous state-- pristine, yet unprepared for mothering adventures...)

Now I know many moms feel guilt an embarrassment at the state of the interior of their vehicles. In fact my mother is appalled, that anything besides post it notes and a pen resides in my car for more than 24 hrs. But I am here to make the case against cleaning out your van because your day may go something like this... after schlepping your 3 kids to a baby well visit, you get in you car remarking how well behaved everyone was despite a brief squabble over whose coat went on which hook. You then drive home on this blustery day thinking about the remainder of the afternoon when bam! someone in front of you swerves to miss a huge object in the middle of the road- you however cannot swerve due to the short distance between you and said roadway object, car to your right and no shoulder to the left (concrete barrier)- so try as you might the only option is to go over or risk sudden death either by 55 mph collision with 55mph car or stationary concrete barrier). Such a choice unfortunately instantly shreds your tire instantly reducing you to a limping crawl. Unfortunately this occurs just before the height of rush hour on a very major roadway. Now there is no shoulder- so you eek along with hazards on and finally make your way to the median section between the road and an exit. This doesn't sound like a hugely safe location but it had to do. Now as you sit stranded with your three kids waiting for roadway assistance and your husband to come you can look around your vehicle and find things to make this unfortunate hour pass more quickly and comfortably. You can pop in a DVD (although my car is outfitted with a DVD player i am a stingy TV mom and it is only ever turned on for drives over 1 hr in duration) Pass around pretzels, dried fruit, fruit snacks, snickers anyone?- and even chug down a fruit punch drink box. Everyone can remain calm and buckled in. All the while perusing the latest Ikea wardrobe catalogue, a copy of Discover, or Ranger Rick. You can use your phone to talk with your mom about the purchasing of bulk quantities of Calrose rice. You can explore the functions of your GPS. You can catch up on a little NPR and read up on Friday's PTO bingo night. And that extra coat you have in the car will come in handy because of course the moment the tow truck guy arrives and comes to your window to talk to you is immediately after the moment in which you start nursing your crying post- immunization baby.

(Now the unexpected events not accounted for is a 2 yr old announcing he has to go potty as we were limping perilously along the shoulder) Note:add porta potty to car.

any similarities between the above episode and my day today are NOT coincidental!

We rounded out our day nicely and it ended uneventfully with ss2 changing it from his sopping clothes into a self selected outfit of camo fleece pants with a red and blue sweater vest (nothing underneath)- an outfit that would have made the village people proud. smart daddy-o dropping $250 at sears for 2 new tires while smart mama sinks into a hot bath with a handful of girl scout cookies. And as the sun sets, the smart parents draw straws over who gets the unpleasant task of diaassembling one pee-d in carseat.

moral of the story- don't clean out your car- you never know when you'll need that stuff!

My three for the day:

1. walmart fruit punch drink boxes

2. scalding hot baths

3.my sons terrible fashion choices and the comic relief it brings