Wednesday, April 02, 2008

why you shouldn't clean out your van

(Interior of my van in it's previous state-- pristine, yet unprepared for mothering adventures...)
Now I know many moms feel guilt an embarrassment at the state of the interior of their vehicles. In fact my mother is appalled, that anything besides post it notes and a pen resides in my car for more than 24 hrs. But I am here to make the case against cleaning out your van because your day may go something like this... after schlepping your 3 kids to a baby well visit, you get in you car remarking how well behaved everyone was despite a brief squabble over whose coat went on which hook. You then drive home on this blustery day thinking about the remainder of the afternoon when bam! someone in front of you swerves to miss a huge object in the middle of the road- you however cannot swerve due to the short distance between you and said roadway object, car to your right and no shoulder to the left (concrete barrier)- so try as you might the only option is to go over or risk sudden death either by 55 mph collision with 55mph car or stationary concrete barrier). Such a choice unfortunately instantly shreds your tire instantly reducing you to a limping crawl. Unfortunately this occurs just before the height of rush hour on a very major roadway. Now there is no shoulder- so you eek along with hazards on and finally make your way to the median section between the road and an exit. This doesn't sound like a hugely safe location but it had to do. Now as you sit stranded with your three kids waiting for roadway assistance and your husband to come you can look around your vehicle and find things to make this unfortunate hour pass more quickly and comfortably. You can pop in a DVD (although my car is outfitted with a DVD player i am a stingy TV mom and it is only ever turned on for drives over 1 hr in duration) Pass around pretzels, dried fruit, fruit snacks, snickers anyone?- and even chug down a fruit punch drink box. Everyone can remain calm and buckled in. All the while perusing the latest Ikea wardrobe catalogue, a copy of Discover, or Ranger Rick. You can use your phone to talk with your mom about the purchasing of bulk quantities of Calrose rice. You can explore the functions of your GPS. You can catch up on a little NPR and read up on Friday's PTO bingo night. And that extra coat you have in the car will come in handy because of course the moment the tow truck guy arrives and comes to your window to talk to you is immediately after the moment in which you start nursing your crying post- immunization baby.
(Now the unexpected events not accounted for is a 2 yr old announcing he has to go potty as we were limping perilously along the shoulder) Note:add porta potty to car.

any similarities between the above episode and my day today are NOT coincidental!

We rounded out our day nicely and it ended uneventfully with ss2 changing it from his sopping clothes into a self selected outfit of camo fleece pants with a red and blue sweater vest (nothing underneath)- an outfit that would have made the village people proud. smart daddy-o dropping $250 at sears for 2 new tires while smart mama sinks into a hot bath with a handful of girl scout cookies. And as the sun sets, the smart parents draw straws over who gets the unpleasant task of diaassembling one pee-d in carseat.

moral of the story- don't clean out your car- you never know when you'll need that stuff!
My three for the day:
1. walmart fruit punch drink boxes
2. scalding hot baths sons terrible fashion choices and the comic relief it brings


Amber said...

It's mom emergency preparedness! Sounds like a doozy of a day! We actually keep a potty in the car (no lie) because when little girls need to go- they need to go and they can't just pee in the bushes. (It's a little training potty- but it's been used on many occasions).

Suzie Soda said...

Well all I can say it I am glad you are alive. I remember days like the snow.
I love how creative you are with all your car "stuff".
I have alot of stuff in my car I could do things with.....and I don't even have little kids. My best tool is my twezzers...I pluck my eyebrows at red lights....imagine how good they would look if I had to wait for a tow truck. You deserved a bubble bath.

LL said...

NO WAY! I'm osrry your day was so eventful, ugh!
First of all, let me babysit the others when you have stuff like this. No need to take everyone. Second, I'm glad no one was hurt. and third, nice work on having the car LOADED with make me proud :)
Hope today is better!

The Orton's said...

Wow! I'm so sorry about your car incident! Way to be prepared. No wonder you're called "smart mama"!!
Here's to a more relaxing day. Remember it's Thursday - that means NAP DAY! Hooray!!

Chel said...

That sounds scary! I'm glad no one was hurt. I always have a med. sized tote full of stuff (water, snacks, a bottle, diapers, wipes, coloring books, crayons, books, games, change of clothes, etc. etc. etc.) I do that because I can't stand a messy SUV!! :)

Shelah said...

That's terrible! Glad you were prepared. And Amber, we have a pee bottle in our car too, lol!

aubrey said...

HI! i was so excited to see your comment on my blog. how fun to catch up on what's been going on with you. though..this day didn't sound too much fun. way to have tons of useful things in your car. and i need to make a note to buy a potty to keep in my car. a bubble bath and handful of girlscout cookies sounds delish to me. even if i haven't had a crazy day!

Zoe said...

Wow! I am glad that you guys are okay! How exciting . . . for the boys I mean!! :)

smart mama said...

aubrey so glad to find you again- seriously one day i went to comment and you were gone- i had no idea where you went- your new blog name,etc than the other day just on a random blog popping i ran across you and i was so excited- I knew it had to be yyou from the pic and the format- i always loved reading your blog!

aubrey said...

oh, man. ya, i switched my name a while back. i'm very glad we met up again! and i'm loving the new changes your making on your format. very cool!

SweetPea said...

That is awful. Truly awful. I'm so glad you were prepared, and that you are all okay! In the past I've been more like your mom--I'm obsessed about cleaning out my van. I do keep some emergency items in the back, but I'm thinking I may want to add to it!

Arlyn said...

I now feel better about my cluttered bus! Yikes on the dangerous part! Glad you were unscathed!