Okay, I'll come right out with it. I am submitting a piece to the Museum of Church History and Art Competition and it's due Friday so I have been working on the submission. At any time in the past, I would not likely have entered (because well I am not really a competitive person) and if I dared enter I would never have publicly announced it. Why? Because I didn't like, no make that loathed and feared, failure and rejection. Now, I don't care. There is something liberating about growing into yourself. Of being happy enough with yourself and being passionate about what you do to face rejection or failure. And not only to do it alone, in secret, but to let others watch you not get it as well. To know from the start the most likely outcome (yes statistically maybe only 1 in 4-5 make the show) is that the piece will not be accepted, and that I will be handed the "thank you for playing, please try again card". Then translating that into "not good enough" or "not what they wanted" (which is a nicer way of saying not good enough) and not feeling discouraged or ashamed. So today I am patting myself on the back, not so much for the painting (which I do like especially because it is unique, and breaks from the normative style of most submissions) but because I have learned to be me, to jump in especially when everyone is watching.
1.courage 2. celebratory chinese 3. new friends