Monday, October 06, 2008

Growing into myself and losing the fear

Okay, I'll come right out with it. I am submitting a piece to the Museum of Church History and Art Competition and it's due Friday so I have been working on the submission. At any time in the past, I would not likely have entered (because well I am not really a competitive person) and if I dared enter I would never have publicly announced it. Why? Because I didn't like, no make that loathed and feared, failure and rejection. Now, I don't care. There is something liberating about growing into yourself. Of being happy enough with yourself and being passionate about what you do to face rejection or failure. And not only to do it alone, in secret, but to let others watch you not get it as well. To know from the start the most likely outcome (yes statistically maybe only 1 in 4-5 make the show) is that the piece will not be accepted, and that I will be handed the "thank you for playing, please try again card". Then translating that into "not good enough" or "not what they wanted" (which is a nicer way of saying not good enough) and not feeling discouraged or ashamed. So today I am patting myself on the back, not so much for the painting (which I do like especially because it is unique, and breaks from the normative style of most submissions) but because I have learned to be me, to jump in especially when everyone is watching.
1.courage 2. celebratory chinese 3. new friends

25 comments:

Amy said...

Good for you!! I can't wait to see it, or are you not showing it off till after it is submitted?

lyn said...

I'm rooting for you!

Shelah said...

I wish I had your guts to publicly spill my little secrets...

I'm working for you...

ellen said...

That's great! Like I say about the lottery, you can't win if you don't play. :) I entered a church photography contest. I used a photo I took on the day the steeple and Angel Moroni were put on the Boston Temple. Never even got a rejection letter but I'm glad I entered the contest.

Char said...

Way to go! I've been feeling more comfortable with myself as of late as well. I think it means I'm getting old. ROFL.

Andrea said...

they would be crazy to turn down anything made by you.

smart mama said...

wow- 6 instant comments you guys are a great cheering squad!

Jane said...

Good Luck! I am sure it is amazing just like all of your other work. I LOVE my Les painting that hangs in my kitchen.

I can't wait to see it...when do you get to unveil it?

LL said...

i'm late with the instant comment, SORRY.
YOU jump right in, you're incredibly talented and it will be recognized again and again and again.
I'm cheering you on!!!

bluestocking mama said...

good for you on all acounts!

Kris said...

That is great! Good luck. What a good feeling... you go girl! :)

Tamlynn said...

I'm proud of you! I knew you were considering entering and I'm glad you are. I agree with Amy, you need to show us before you pack it up.

Jenny said...

So WHICH one did you pick? I LOVE that you're entering... this should mark the first of MANY entries. GO, go Smart painter!

sweetpea said...

GOOD LUCK!! I also wish that I could be that brave--I'm working on it, but have most definitely inspired me.

Christy said...

I am so glad you are entering! All great people have taken a leap at some point. We are all here to spot you though so GO!

Courtney said...

way to go!! I don't know that I'm quite to your level of growing up but it is nice to feel good about ourselves, isn't it? So do we have to wait for the Ensign to see it?

KAT said...

I'm curious which painting it is too.

Meemer said...

if i was judging, you know i'd pick you. your art is good. really really good. and i have to agree about growing into yourself. and i think it really shows. you are amazing,not only as an artist, but as a mommy, and as a strong woman. okay, so you pretty much rock. i can't wait to hear.

smart mama said...

wow really- thanks-- it is very liberating to feel like I could walk around with a "my art got rejected" shirt on

jump in- it's not scary losing that baggage

Smilin' sunshine said...

Way to go! I am again impressed!

Swimmingmom said...

Hmm, I thought I commented, but I guess that was in my head! Goodluck and way to step out on a limb!

Emily M. said...

I'm with everyone who wants to know which painting it is!

And yes, good for you!

erin said...

you have us all eagerly awaiting to see what the painting is...

smart mama said...

i ended up putting in the 2 panel aspens- i was trying to finish another tree one and then was going to decide between the two but didn't get it done-

Zoe said...

AWESOME!!! Now where is it?! You must show it to us. :)