Thursday, January 05, 2006

new years resolutions-end of year evolution

I have mixed feelings on resolutions...call me a rebel-- i don't like to follow the crowd- and so i don't always do resolutions-- or at least not by new years day- thats too contrived (after all we should have an ongoing process of renewed resolve!)actually i hate to have my life really structured and resolutions foten feel very confining (like exercise x times per week-- i can feel the anxiety setting in just pondering it!)-- it all started with and interesting read i did in grad school on goal setting (basically a backlash against the feverish covey style "goal mania" of the 90's) it basically said to an extent goal setting can be bad or selfish- or actually makes you think you can control things in your life--when much is out of our control and we don't know what the future will throw at us-- you've got to be flexible-- the number one thing in goal setting as we are all taught is it has to be measurable-- only many great things in life are immeasurable (like love, charity, harmony)- so be careful in all our feeble attempts and mere mortals to direct the universe. Or sometimes even though goals may be good at times we may not reach a goal because other things in our life demand attention at the time...Like this story praising a woman for climbing mt everest-- meanwhile she left her 18 mo old daughter for 6 mo for the climb--that gets me--so reasonable general goals thats me (none of you climb mt everest with a young child or you will feel my wrath!)

that being said- i will claim the national resolution-- get healthier (the justifies for my buying 1 lb of strawberries for 4$ yesterday and well as 2 loaves of ecce panis bread- cause thats got to be healthier right) Or maybe it was prompted by laying on the couch trying to get rid of my headache eating ghiradelli caramel squares as my husband flipped through the weigh in at the biggest loser-- when the women still a little chubby and weighed less then me i sat up and demanded... "Do i look like that??!!" needless to say after that i resisted another caramel square (until this morning that is)

other resolution- get my groove back-- yep clean up, get out of the funk of 4 years of miscarriages, and final ensuing stressful pregnancy- which yielded a great baby boy (now 7 mo!) - it simple things i want--i want to be creative, have time to think, read, enjoy my boys and husband, be a better wife mom, friend, etc.-- oh yeah and shower, brush hair and get dressed everyday!

okay i'll justify a little more--I think though resolutions can be very self defeating-- and of course we must spare ourselves all psychological pain or guilt (or that is the model currently accepted in pop psychology)-- i prefer a rear looking model--Lets call it. End of Year Evolution-- basically look back on your year and compliment yourself for what you did - how you changed and got better- a great time for this is the crafting of the annual braggadocio christmas letter-- trying to backtrack and see if you did anything someone might find novel to read.
So I invite you to join me-- no setting lofty goals which only get trampled under the daily grind- just live each day well- focused on being better and in the end when you look back you'll actually be surprised and pleased.

4 comments:

Amy said...

AMEN!! Well put. And I have a goal to get up and be dressed and ready for the day EVERYDAY!! Hopefully once I get in the habit it won't be too difficult

ShelahBooksIt said...

live each day well is one I hope I can live up to. I've already gotten too far away from all of the resolutions I posted on my blog, lol.

Linsey said...

I usually have resolutions for about 2 weeks, then that's when I move into the "just live godd" phase...so anyday now, I will join you...

Steph said...

You rock, Les. I hate resolutions. That's why I haven't posted any on my blog. I almost feel like I'm setting myself up to fail when I write down 10 (or 20, ok, more like 50 lol) things down to accomplish by such and such a date. It NEVER works! Thank you for your post. It really makes me think. :-D