Sunday, June 21, 2009

A portrait of me

If you really want to know me - you need only look as far as my fridge- the outside of it that is. It is a microcosm of my world. Sadly, the top of my fridge is the single most disastrous places in my house... why... well it is over 6 feet in the air and so it is the repository for anything I have to put out of reach of my children- it is the safe house for errantly used things, short of locking it in the bathroom, laundry room, or attic. I am after all mom to 3 boys. One being forgetful, another lacking impulse control around treats, and one next mt Everest climber.

The outside well who knows why- its a random assortment?
so the other day I inventoried my fridge... Here is what I found.

-10$ gap rewards certificate (thanks to my t-shirt buying)
-town beach pass (if summer ever comes)
-2 oil pastel, 1 watercolor by 4 yr old
-Wasatch South Lacrosse magnet (the club team I played on when I was at BYU)
-"smart women put it in writing" notepad (with grocery list and propaganda- husband should love me)
-watkins vanilla magnet- came as a shower gift 10 yrs ago?
-If you can Bake a cake you can make a bomb postcard- (my all time classic favorite- while i have the brains for bomb making i choose to make cakes- I am a lover not a fighter)
-Funny Postcard from friend ellen
-2 old pictures of my 8 yr old with curly hair
-my 4 yr olds sunbeam handout- I HAVE FEELINGS (so do I and all too often grouchy)
-almost 4 yr old fam picture
-another pic of me and allen (2 yrs old)
-101 ways to praise a child card- (must look at this more often)
-2 model rocket and launcher kit- (need model glue)
-one toilet paper holder from upstairs bathroom (solid metal was being wielded as a star wars blaster)
-one PVC/pipe pool noodle light saber
-one homework weekly/activity/practice chart
-one timer- lacking batteries (removed for "bomb making" not for war but for mining applications- as explained by my 8 yr old)
-segullah business card
-my art business card (in case i forget how to contact myself)
-business card of painter who was working across the street (who loaned my mom his ladder so she could break in when she locked herself out of my house and I was in boston at a conference)
-one LED pen-Re-mission (promo item video game for teens with cancer)

-$35 off of 300 at home depot- (allen are you ever going to finish off the basement?)
-bose magnet- (must promote)
-square one art magnet (star wars theme)
-poison control number (yes i am a good mom keep it handy and have called them 4 x- ingestion of dryer sheet, jewelry cleaner, licking of toilet bowl cleaner bottle, eating of brown paint)
-trash schedule/recycling- (is it blue week or green week?)

on top- this is where it gets interesting-
-one tennis racket (baby whacking on floor)
-1 fishing pole and tackle box (you're gonna put someone's eye out with that- no concept of hooks yet)
-2 bags of big marshmallows (one open- snack/bribes)
-one kids golf club (weapon usage)
-article of faith card
-2 stressballs- one is leaking tiny green plastic beads (these are cool i don't want to pitch them)
- 2 bottle caps (used to be magnets)

-about 100 box tops in ziploc bag- 7 loose (seriously when is the next collection day?)
-temperature sensor (critical for "you need a coat" or "it's way too hot to wear that today"- mothering remarks)
-4 things of playdough (probably dried out)
-7 collages and paintings (this serves as drying rack)
-1 box of picture hanging supplies (yes you know I am constantly hanging & moving art)
- a stack of 5 checks (too loose with money I know)
-stop and shop gift cards (I think maybe they have $ on them?)
-one eleven chophouse GC (need babysitter)
-1 toy saturn V rocket (failure to pick up)
-1 toy sr71 blackbird (failure to pick up)
-1 golden ceramic train bank (used as weapon, money stolen)
-one sample of green frog pom pom trim (seriously???)
-1 toy fishing rod (almost resulted in strangulation)
-one guitar hero cereal box toy (annoying!)
- one flashlight (emergency preparedness)
-1 bag pretzels (halloween bats and jacks)
-1 mini gel ant farm
-one uncover snake book (for Christmas gift)
-key to mower (I think - i don't mow)
-glow bracelets (6)
-easter candy (squished)
-school lunch calendar (trash that son out due to flu precaution- rest of the year)
-one pinewood derby car- silver prowler (won sibling competition this year)
-pot paints
-collapsible play hut
-valentine card
-one pound bag of confetti sprinkles (caught son hiding behind chair eating)

and thats probably not everything
note this accumulation in from a relatively brief time span
to everything there is a season- my is that of refridgerator repository...

and in case you missed it my art feature interview at segullah
1.fathers day 2.30 min talk done with 3.surprise packages


Michal Thompson said...

Wow, I am impressed. My green balls are leaking too and I am feeling guilty for not using my 101 ways to praise a child more- that is also located on my fridge!

Marcy said...

That is quite an assortment. I 'm afraid to inventory mine. It would be much of the same. Thanks for being brave and sharing!!

sweetpea said...

That is impressive! I know I would have more on my fridge, but since magnets dont' stick to stainless steel, I have been forced to relegate my assortment to other places. :)

Jenny said...

Okay, and by the time I got to collapsible play hut, I was standing up and clapping. Seriously! That's a GREAT stash up there! (Did you happen to have a copy of my rough draft essay up there? 'Cuz when I went to revise a few minutes ago, I discovered that my hub had deleted it.)
Bravo for STUFF.

Lei said...

Oh someone else who has to resort to the safekeeping only a tall refrigerator can prvide...

Heather O. said...

Leslie, I think I love you.

Swimmingmom said...

Hmm, lots of treasures to be had! I think I have something in common with ss # 2- lack of treat control.