feed the birds

I'll give I you my accusation clue style (if I am wrong I am out of the game):Mr N, in the family room, with unsupervised access to rolled oats...

1. food storage

2. taking a picture for your blog instead of getting upset.

3. the yellow vacuum

Bread: the mark of a mother

To me making bread is a hallmark of motherhood-- all truly great moms make bread. Nothing brings comfort to a home like the smell and the taste of warm freshly baked bread. And not just the throw in the bread machine kind but real by- hand- from- scratch, bread. I grind my wheat, I grind my oats, I take off my wedding rings and knead it by hand. I use the same kind of mixer the women in my family have used to make bread for 4 generations. I like making bread because it is a tradition that transcends time and cultures- all around the world for thousands of years women have made bread for their families. In times of sorrow and celebration, in times of sickness and health. It is what sustains people in the most meager times. In my book, Bread is personal, bread is sincere, bread is intimate. It is reserved for special people. People who care for me, people who serve me, people I love, people I want to comfort. Quite honestly I will make cookies for anyone, but not bread.

All the great bread making women I know have "their bread recipe"- not one from a cookbook. finding your recipe is a sort of motherhood rite of passage. I started with one recipe. It evolved to the point that it no longer resembles the original recipe and I call it my own.

I became a true bread maker during one of the most challenging seasons of my life- the 3 yr span in between my first two boys when I had 7 miscarriages. I think I made bread to comfort, to care, for myself during a very lonely time. I often made my bread for my doctors, who saw more times than either of us can possible count. All of us struggling to figure out why at three months, after weeks of perfect normalcy, the ultrasound screen would yield only deafening silence and stillness. The whole sequence played over and over again like a video loop. Probably in some deep subconscious way, by giving this personal feeble offering, I was trying to bargain with God to show my sincerity, my deservingness as a mother. That somehow that in these acts of giving I might receive that one thing I was desperate for. Just as the recipe changed and no longer resembles its original, those years profoundly changed me, I lost the blissful ignorance, innocence of motherhood and childbearing and came through the other side as a stronger woman with the deepest love a mother forged in fire and tears.

So my bread comes with history, a very personal history, which I probably why I share it guardedly. As much as I hate the crumbs on the counter, few things make me feel more like a great mother than to hear my children cheer when I tell them I am making "my" bread. So if you haven't become a bread maker yet, I will offer you my recipe as a stepping stone to create your very own signature homemade bread.

Leslie's Homemade Bread
3 c. hot water
1Tbsp. salt
1/4 c. oil
1 c. brown sugar
8-9 cups flour (4 c. wheat (red and white wheat combo), 2 better for bread, 2 c. oats)
2 Tbsp. yeast
1 tbsp. vital wheat gluten
1 egg

Procedure
stir water, salt, oil and br sugar together. add 4 cups wheat flour, yeast and egg. beat 4-5 minutes . add 2 cups oat flour (take oats pulverize in blender to make oat flour). mix well- add remaining bfb flour and gluten. knead 10 minutes. place in grease bowl and cover with towel - let rise in warm spot until dbl. punch down divide into three loaves, roll out and form loaves. Let rise again until dbl in pans. bake 35 mins at 325.

trade-offs

so somedays my floor and barstools look like this at 5 pm...

I have to remind myself that is because I am a fun mom and do fun stuff with my kids- sometimes with the endless cycle of clean-up in the "world of mom" you have to remind yourself it was for a good cause, because man i hate sweeping that floor everyday!

today we did:

litmus paper tests (the only fiasco during this experiement was smart baby trying to spraying fantastic (one of the test liquids) into a whistle he found-- he thought it would make bubbles come out when he blew into it) no son- POISON!

Smart son picked out this photo we took while at temple square and wanted to paint it- he worked so hard on it, mixing variatios of greens- he probably spent almost 2 hrs on it! smart baby did his own verison in oil pastels- he spent 5 minutes on his!

oobleck (in their own selected colors no less)

and here is smart son with one of his tall towers (he does them vertically) he also likes to make these thoughtful arrangments from all the random objects in the house: chairs, shoes, diapers, pillows, books, toys, foods, plates-- trouble is you can't lock up and hide everything --at least he is resourceful!

(And yes i have excessive amounts of blocks- It's a disease-I am just a sucker for blocks) water blocks, bead blocks, city blocks, unit block, pb kids story blocks, middle eastern temple blocks, mirror tiles- I know I have to stop.

i really am here

i know i know i have been a terrible blogger and blog friend lately-- I made it through my way over-full sloshing over the sides week (which only was further complicated by a tragedy in the lives of some close friends and a few other unexpected events). Despite all of that, I made it through kids night out at school, finished sewing my dress, finished a painting, taught my last after school painting class for the year, finished all the gift baskets, had fun at the town ed foundation auction and now my mom is here visiting (so i am trying to use every precious moment!)- our plan was of course to whip my sorry house into shape after some serious trauma forced upon it by the ever active almost 2 yr old smart baby and to help it recover from the serious neglect I had shown it as of late. So I have been spending my days cleaning everything out from under bathroom sinks, sorting through those piles that seem to spontaneously appear, revamping laundry room closets, spring clothes clean out, food storage shelf redo, etc. This cleaning extravaganza was interrupted slightly by a phone call yesterday at 1pm (you should know when the caller id shows it is the school -that you afternoon is about to be shot) Smart son was running a fever and needed to be picked up- so we have the coughing and fever action going on here- So I will probably be scarce for the next week or so as i continue to use my every moment of maternal assistance on behalf of my house and sick kids-anyway stay tuned

war, famine, pestilence, and smart baby

rt baby

Yes as you can see smart baby has take a place as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse-

The theme of December's blogging that is emerging- catastrophes a la smart baby. Here is smart baby mopping the flour with my bucket of bread flour (I don't know if this is better or worse than the previous mopping episode with toilet water) I had it out to make 6 loaves of homemade bread for the teachers, bus driver, etc) This occurred simply as I turned my back to stir the rice and soup for tonight's dinner casserole- yes only 2 feet behind me! He is one sneaky character.

Then 2 hrs later as I was attempting to wrest the bread from its pan to rush it out for fresh hot delivery to the bus driver- I heard the sound of the bus in front of my house- so I with knife in hand ran to open the front door- to wave that I was home so smart son wouldn't be driven back to the school and in my absence smart baby- went directly to the dining room climbed up in the middle of the table and poked 2 holes in and ate 5 fondant decorations off smart son's birthday cake (luckily i had already taken a picture in case some such scenario took place) Seriously i have exhausted every cabinet lock, and out of reach surface known to man. The family room armoire is the current "safe house" for tomorrows birthday cupcakes for school.

This evening smart baby struck again as I prepared the next round of bread dough- I turned to see something brown in his hand- he had reached up and grabbed a hunk out of one of the cooling loaves of bread-(one of the down sides of having an 18 month old who is above the 95% percentile in height - way too much is in their reach!) so much for that gift. Smart son played accomplice today --on his way out the door to music - as he madly grabbed shortbread cookies set the 5 ton glass cake tender dome on one of the other cooling loaves.

These were the major incidents of the day- in addition he enjoyed dumping a box of graham sticks, dumping out 50 cookie cutter, disassembling the carpet tiles in the dining room and 50 other things.

lessons from a headband, toilet cleaning, robotic handcarts, and living a dot-to-dot

Today was one of those work around the house , 6 loads of laundry, family clean, wear Pj's the entire day, and try to return life to a semblance of order after Smart daddy-o was away in Japan for a week (hence lack of blogging) kind of days. As I tucked smart son into bed tonight and I asked his most special time of the day he said, "Being home and not having to go anywhere all day! And cleaning the bathroom counters and toilets! (his job at family clean today)"

You may question what type of torture my child must endure to report his favorite time of the day was cleaning toilets- but i savored his comment- I feel successful that he is content to just spend a day- nothing flashy, nothing that costs money, just enjoying family, playing with toys, being creative, and feel happy as a result of working hard and knowing you've done a good job at something. The thing I worry most about is my kids growing up in such a trouble, confusing world, but when they make comments like that you know they get the important stuff!

He is growing up I really love being around him! And man I LOVE the way he thinks! Here are some of my favorite smart son conversations of the day

I was attempting a leisurely bath when someone bursts into the bathroom and through the curtain I hear "Mom, it's just like being on and island out in some water, and then looking around and flying over to another island in the middle of water, and then going to another and another- and making lines as you fly"

"What is?" Needing some context for this sudden random image/analogy.

"Living in a dot to dot!"

Tonight he got talking about what life was like in different times- this was first prompted by him putting on one of my stretchy headbands around his head 80's sweatband style. After putting it on he asked "Mom, why did people wear bands around their heads in olden days?"

We didactically decided 1- functionally- it was because of the excessive physical labor in hot climates and it kept the sweat of your face, reason number 2- well you never can account for the Fads of the ages.

Then we started talking about life before different inventions and technologies. I said, "What do you think people did before CD, radios- for music?" (hoping for they practiced and learned to make music on their own) The first thing I got was a response about player pianos and then he shot back immediately, "They went outside!"

"Outside?," I puzzled needing more info.

"Yes, they could just look for a nest(outside=nest=bird=bird songs!)".

It was such a fabulous unexpected answer.

Then we got talking about life before cars and pioneers and handcarts and he said he would like to build robots for the people who couldn't afford covered wagons and animals and had to pull their handcarts.

Lately too we have been talking about the blessing of education and the importance of working hard and learning all that we can. We had talked before about children I have known in parts of the world who haven't had the chance to go to school. "Mom," he said, "I know- if they don't have schools- they could be home schooled!" I tried to explain that this was a good idea and that is what people tried to do but it was hard for their parents because they didn't get to go to schools either.

Then he petitioned, "Mom could we please send papers to them so they could have school- I really think we should do that!"

Guess I know what type of family service opportunity we are going to be looking for!

I just love the way his little heart and brain work!