masculine/feminine

I took a doctoral level graduate class in relationship development and mate selection. I was the only girl in the class and one day that became glaringly apparent. As you know I don't shy away from sharing my opinions and engaging in academic debate. The topic of debate with my male classmates was about our cultural labelling of all personality traits as masculine and feminine. I attempted to say we create stereotypes that can be very negative/rigid when we do this. (i.e. men are supposed to be tough, not cry, fight, etc) Every attribute/personality characteristic is on a persecute with extreme opposites at both ends, but most people are in the middle. Labeling each end as masculine and feminine implies that it is the ideal for men or women. I do believe men and women have inherent differences but I don't think that justifies this division/labelling. This whole system of labeling is erroneous as there is as much variation in a given characteristic amongst men (some men are gentle/mellow while others are very aggressive/rough) as there is between a given man and a woman (aggressive woman and aggressive man). I asked them if I am aggressive/assertive does that make me less of a woman? the answer "No, it just means you are comfortable with your masculine side". Masculine side? You think that is a joking answer but it wasn't. I am a girl 100% and proud of it. I held my own that day but they still didn't get it.

I am a rough and tumble girl- just as much as i am a girly girl . I like to to get glammed up, and throw parties, I wear lipstick and dress in pink but, in 7th grade I was also the only girl who chose to play basketball with the boys while all the other girls stood around giggling and occasionally hitting a volleyball. My dad had to break it to me in 5th grade that no matter what i did I would never be a center in the NFL (I do hike a mean football) and my only outside chance at any football would be as a kicker. In college, Shelah and I spent some evenings playing rugby with the guys in the neighboring apartments and we were known for our true tenaciousness on the field. Boys do not intimidate me and I relate as well to men as I do to women. At church functions, I am always happier moving furniture instead of doing dishes. I wrestle and race my kids as much as any dad. As much as I love lounging at a nice hotel, I am one brave traveller who has slept, eaten and spent my days in some very hard, dirty places. But all of these things make me a great woman not a woman comfortable with her "masculine side".

just some thoughts today on how silly our culture is sometimes.