saturday thoughts- why i am not a doctor

Today was a divide and conquer saturday- smart daddy-o took smart son to Y for swim and gym and I took smart baby to Boston for a quick pop in at a vascular malformations clinic to take a quick peek at a mysterious blue spot on his back (which thanks to an ultrasound which provided a clear diagnosis a fairly superficial venous malformation with only low flow vessels). I knew almost all the clinic docs from my work with the vascular birthmarks foundation. As I walked through the halls of Mass General Hospital - it made me realize how much i miss being in a hospital-- it sounds crazy but when i step into a hospital, I just want to go read charts, journal articles, go on rounds, and visit patients. seriously- even cafeteria food and linen carts make me nostalgic. It makes me think back to my days as a child life specialist- the training at johns hopkins was second to none, I turned down an offer to stay on and do a special fellowship because i felt i needed to finish up my classes and see where things were going with smart daddy-o (we were dating at the time). It was a hard choice but the right one-- after all i have two cuties to show for it. I love being a child life specialist because I love coming up with things to help patients and families and tailoring it to a specific individuals diagnosis, procedures, and needs- and it is the closest I will ever get to being a doctor. I really would have loved to have been a doctor-- and I think i would have made an incredibly good one- but i also knew i wanted to be a mom-- and i knew they were two jobs i couldn't do at the same time and do well (insert irate comments from feminists to me here). Life is about choices- I am happy with mine- it doesn't mean we can't miss things though--Life is short and in the words of a song I used to sing as a child "there are pages you'll turn words, that you'll never know, things that you never will learn". There is a truth in that that has always made me life my life fully- knowing my time is short- To me life is liking getting lots of invitations to parties all on the same day and at the same time. You might make a few appearances, but ultimately you pick the one you want to be at most!

here are my smart boys riding around together on the plasma car during family clean- aren't they too cute- I wouldn't trade them for a white coat any day (okay make that most days!)smart son with his all purpose "super gadget" and smart baby with his pencil aka wanna be super gadget