My voice

Time for another one of my soapboxy posts about women...

I was talking to my friend Catherine yesterday (c'mon join our blogging ranks) she is working on her PhD and her dissertation on literacy (hopeful literacy of mothers). She was asking about motivations in writing and I began thinking more about my motivations in blogging- I love it because it is journalling, with all it's rich details, pictures, etc. But I also blog to make a social statement. I blog to glorfiy, to validate the life I live. To show I am happy, to show I am proud of my choices. I blog because I am a smart mama.

I am grateful to the feminist movement for paving the way to greater opportunity in work and education. I loved growing up in a post- feminist revolution world, and with parents who provided the perfect scaffolding of security, ability, and confidence. I knew with out a doubt I could be or do anything I wanted. Endowed with power, by always moderated by my own choice. As I selected a profession it was moderated by my life goals (Yes I chose not to pursue certain professions or programs because I couldn't fit them with motherhood in a way that was acceptable to me) As we teach our children every choice has a consequence, and it is a truth of life that you can't have everything- so pick what is most important. This is a choice for men to-- my husband chooses not to have a job that requires heavy travel, long hours, or intense stress- yes he asks his boss for time to volunteer at preschool, yes, he sacrifices career for family for quality of life- is he walking out on manhood? Should he refuse to allow his paid work to be shorted for relationships...

There has been so much talk lately, of this of "us" the "opt out generation". The women who are "turning their backs" on the opportunities now available to them to stay at home. I listened to such an interesting discussion on NPR- polling young women in elite colleges- expressing their likelihood of stying home in the future, many feminists troubled by the numbers. Thinking our society must be sending the message you can't do it all- the clocks must be rolling back. Why is it "Choice feminism" is not accepted. How is choosing to care for others not a choice? I am deeply troubled by the way caregiving is undervalued in our societies. This extends to caretaking professions as well-- the pay and respect meeted out to a teacher is far less than that of a lawyer, business executive. Linda Hirshman contends the only way to flourish as a human being is through paid work.

To her I suggest the only way to flourish as a human being is unpaid work. The work that is the great equalizer of men and women across cultures, across all history and time. The work of care. I feel far greater satisfaction at night when I help someone far more than when I get a paycheck. I am not Godless or a slave to the god of self glory-- development of my own personal morality is far more rewarding than another plaque on my wall--

So my social statement is this- I am a woman, a smart woman, I don't want another woman to speak for me. I have a voice, my own voice. The press may not quote me, like Linda Hirschman, so my voice may not be as loud- many whispers can create a great sound--I am one woman just as she is, of equal importance, with a voice as unrelenting, as strong and as valid- Don't pity me, don't trouble yourself that society has done me wrong, don't fear I may never escape this domestic drudgery and become enlightened--This life, as a mother, as a mother who stays home, is my choice. I walked away from a tenure track college teaching job because I wanted to. I wanted to experience motherhood without distraction. Homemaking is not drudgery, paid work is not bliss. I am still the same girl who grew up knowing she could do anything she wanted--And guess what- world is still on a silver platter before her and she is still choosing all the greatest delicacies of life to enjoy.