Thursday, November 09, 2006

come let us reason together, smart baby


Smart Baby,
I know you are going through the toddler autonomy phase, but see you are lucky your mom has a masters in child development and is totally down with piaget, erikson, and freud, she is here to tell you all the developmental secrets, help you see your errors in thinking, and let you skip crazy childish behavior and move right into rational adult thinking.

1. Dumping your soup all over the table- not cool- c'mon baby this means more mess for mom- more mess for mom means more cleaning for mom and more cleaning for mom means less time we can do cool mom/son stuff.

2. Screaming and screeching doesn't help anyone and it doesn't get you what you want and could have seriously lifesyle implications. This behavior could seriously cause some hearing loss to others and we don't want to lose our house and your cool toys in a lawsuit- living a cardboard box is no fun- got it!

3. Throwing- throwing is only good when it comes to certain things like baseballs and should you chose to hone your skills there I will happily accept half of your income from a MLB contract- but the throwing of shoes, raw eggs, pretzels, shampoo bottles, yard sticks, mops- gotta go baby- I am being up front with you, although you've got skills- there is no lucrative career or Olympic gold medals in those sports so let's focus on other money makers!

XO- Warmest Regards,
Smart mama

9 comments:

CHEL said...

So cool... there is another little guy that does exactly what my son does! And what's with the raw eggs anyway?? Do they know that they crack open and lots of gooey stuff comes pouring out so that they can run and jump in it and smear it around with their hands?? They must.
I've learned not to "chase" him when he has something because then for sure he'll run and throw it.. like my beautiful new glass candle holder from Pier 1.

Nettie said...

Isn't it amazing how many developmentally normal things they do that are also extremely nerve racking?! My daughter's latest are digging in the flower pot dirt and pushing the kitchen chairs over so she can climb onto the counters. I just keep telling myself, "It's just a stage, it's just a stage..."

Anonymous said...

I am sitting here laughing. love it!! if only they would reason that well.

Anonymous said...

Snort. Ha ha. Let me know how the reasoning goes. I've tried it with the Tominator, but he doesn't seem to understand.

Goslyn said...

Thanks for stopping by! Love the Mother Theresa quote.

itybtyfrog said...

Oh yes, the joys of toddlerhood. He is adorable though.

Code Yellow Mom said...

oh...to be able to reason...

Olivia said...

great letter! Toddlers... what on earth are we going to do with them?

Gabriela said...

did your letter get through to smart baby?