smart mama crumb detective

There are crumbs in our bed! Smart daddy-o said accusingly (as if I was to blame because you all know smart mama does is eat bon bons (and i guess crummy foods) all day in bed) Really I told him- I haven’t eaten anything in our bed (on your side!)- when would I have the time for that- it’s one thing when I am sick and pregnant and spend the majority of hours in the bed- but not now- and I certainly don’t feed the boys their lunch in our bed or anything. I was tired and ready to sleep- I had already taken out my contacts and put up my glasses so I couldn’t look to inspect but I ventured a hand to attempt crumb identification-- I had to clear my good name and solve the mystery of the bed crumbs. It took a little deduction but I figured it out- Smart baby of course was the culprit- smart daddy-o (is a good man) takes him and smart son down for breakfast and allows smart mama a few more precious morsels of sleep (although it usually isn’t really sleep- it’s a few more minutes to wake up slowly and organize my brain before I start full steam into my day) Then he brings the boys back up to our room, says good bye and leaves for work-. So this is who the crime played out- the crumbs I deduced were blueberry muffin breakfast remnants which clung to the jammie folds (when smart daddy-o fed him unbibbed) and seat of the jammies and were then transported upstairs and subsequently deposited on smart daddy-o’s side of the bed- Mystery solved.

And when they finally create a mommy network- programming entirely focused on the exotic and alluring world of motherhood- I am hoping to get my own riveting prime time show- Smart Mama Detective- (Through my snappy deduction I could do things like identify mysterious substances, stains, and explain with mathematical models and trajectories how each of those scrapes, bruises and abrasions appear on children, solve household crimes- I am telling you my expertise is second to none!)